Ricochet by Walter Xanthe

Author:Walter, Xanthe [Walter, Xanthe]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter Thirty-Six

There was silence for a moment. Matt hung

there, sweat running down the side of his face,

fighting his own panic.

"Ricochet," he repeated pathetically, hating

himself. "Please, Rick; I said it."

"I know." Rick swung one long leg over

Matt's body and stood astride him. He leaned

forward, took Matt's head in his hands, and held it

firmly, making Matt look at him. "No safewords,

Matty, remember? You were the one who asked

for that."

"I know I did, but I can't do it, and you said I

could keep my safeword so now I'm using it!" Matt

started to struggle again. "I have to get out. I can't

breathe. I can't…" He pulled on his cuffs

frantically, the panic sweeping through him in

great, rolling waves.

"You've come so far. I'm not going to let you

throw it all away now." Rick placed a hand on his

chest. "Breathe, Matty. Just breathe."

Matt took a wild, gasping intake of breath,

and then another.

"Slower… focus on taking deep breaths."

Matt took another breath, then a fourth… and

a fifth… and a…

"Without counting them," Rick said, a little

smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "You're

safe here, Matty. There's no rush. Just breathe for a

while."

Matt was confused. He was still flying from

the endorphins, and he wasn't sure who he was and

who Rick was anymore. Was Rick his stern master

right now, or ridiculous Rick who turned up late to

work and got into trouble all the time?

And who was he? Was he sensible Matt, who

liked to date doms who wouldn't surprise him, or

try to take him down, or demand he give up

control… or was he Matthew the slave, who didn't

have a choice in the matter? He didn't know.

"What's going on, Matty?" Rick stroked his

hair gently.

"I don't know. I don't know who we are

anymore… me or you," Matt said desperately.

"Who are we, Rick? I'm confused!"

"Don't think about it. You always think too

much. You need to let yourself feel," Rick said,

and his voice was an anchor, keeping Matt safe. "I

can take you down, I promise. We were almost

there. You just need to trust me a little more."

"I do… but I can't do this. The bondage…"

Matt flung his head back, and a soundless scream

emerged from his throat. "I can't… I know I'm a

coward and a wimp, but I just can't."

"Yes, you can. I believe in you. You just need

to believe in yourself." Rick's green eyes were

deep, dark and sincere, willing Matt to succeed.

"I can't," he repeated, hating himself even

more. "I knew I'd screw this up. I'm just so fucking

useless!"

"What's the worst thing about the bondage?"

Rick asked. "Does it hurt anywhere?" His hands

swiftly checked Matt's wrists. "Does it chafe?"

"No, it's not that. Nothing hurts."

"Then focus on why it frightens you so much."

Rick moved his hands back to Matt's chest where

Matt could feel the oil combining with Rick's

come. It was sticky. Itchy. And he couldn't scratch

it. His hands were immobilized, and he was

helpless.

"I can't touch myself. I can't get free. I'm

not…"

"In control?" Rick raised an amused eyebrow.

"That's a good thing, isn't it? You don't always

have to be so in control all the time, Matty.

Wouldn't it be nice to give that up for once and let

it go?"

"I…" Matt closed his eyes.

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